Happy holidays!  In this episode, we hear the tale of Mr. Finch as he tries to sabotage the project, read in the style of the popular children’s author, Dr. Seuss.

 

Every stakeholder at Acme liked the project a lot . . .

But Mr. Finch, who was from Finance, did not

Mr. Finch hated projects; he thought they were all messes

No one knows why for sure, but I have a few guesses

It could be the impact they had on his group.

His system was complex; people left him out of the loop.

But probably the most likely reason of all,

Was that his vision was just a little too small.

Benefiting his department was Finch’s singular goal.

He didn’t consider the value to Acme as a whole.

Whatever the reason, as the project progressed,

Mr. Finch was planning something no one would have guessed.

For next week, old Finch knew, would be implementation.

And that scared Mr. Finch; experienced in this situation.

It would arrive with cheering and all would look great.

Until complaints start coming and the reports will be late.

First would come emails; asking for more data

Then the errors and bugs will start coming; it won’t be tested in beta.

“My precious ledger will be broken!” Finch said shaking his fist.

“No one understands; my needs will be missed.”

Then delays and more changes; always such a mess.

Working late hours, more gray hair from the stress.

The more Finch thought, the more he began to worry.

He must put a stop to the project, and do it in a hurry.

“Why, I’ve been at Acme for 15 years now.”

“I must stop this project from coming! But how?”

As he schemed and plotted during that day’s JAD session,

He saw the BA and thought “Ah . . . I’ll teach him a lesson!”

He would meet with the BA, in the spirit of cooperation.

Any then destroy the documents – the output of elicitation.

For without the documents, the project will surely fail.

With no changes to his process, Mr. Finch would prevail!

Clearing his throat, Mr. Finch asked for a meeting.

And later in his office, met the BA with a warm smile and greeting.

As the two discussed the project, the BA asked some great questions.

They drew on the whiteboard, Mr. Finch even offered suggestions.

“What harm could it do?” thought old Finch with a sneer.

The documents will go missing; I won’t shed a tear.

Without requirements and specs, no one will know what to do.

The project will be lost; no one has a clue.

That very night old Finch put his plan into action.

Deleting files from the repository while laughing with satisfaction.

Away to find hard copies he flew like a flash.

He shredded them all and emptied the trash.

That old Finch was so cunning and mean,

To ensure there was no trace, he even wiped the whiteboards clean.

He hid Post-Its and markers to each cabinet he flew.

He locked them all away – a place only Finch knew.

From hard drives and thumb drives to notebooks and ink,

Finch removed all project records, then went out for a drink.

As he sat in the bar, sipping his cold ale,

He laughed to himself; for he’d made the project fail.

“When launch day comes, there will be no more cheering.”

“No more changes – what I had most been fearing.”

“I’ll stop every project from this moment on.”

“Documents are the key, and the BA’s just a pawn.”

“He writes the documents that tell others what to do.”

“A note taker, really; he doesn’t have a clue.”

That night as Mr. Finch placed pillow to head,

He chuckled once more, for he had nothing to dread.

He dreamed wonderful, awful dreams of a place without change.

Nothing unfamiliar, awkward, or strange.

As the planned implementation date drew ever near,

Old Finch whistled happily; he had nothing to fear.

When project launch day had finally arrived,

Finch pretended to be concerned, an emotion contrived.

He arrived in the office will before dawn,

So he could witness the mayhem his plotting had spawn.

As time counted down with each single tick,

He grew confident in his plan, no more changes will stick.

“Too bad for the BA!” Finch was happily humming.

“I’ve finally done it – stopped the project from coming!”

The sponsor is likely discovering now,

That his project has failed and the BA disavow.

I’ll hear yelling and questions and strong accusation.

Future projects will be questioned – it’ll be a vacation.

He thought to himself, “That will be something to hear.”

So he tilted his head and put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound coming down the hall.

But it wasn’t quite what Finch expected at all.

It was the sound of cheering and dashboards were green.

Finch sat there puzzling, “What could it all mean?”

“It came without a BRD!  It came without specs!”

“It came without documents, bugs, and stress!”

His own team was cheering, and laughing with smiles.

They came toward old Finch, crossing the aisles.

“The project went in, our jobs have been saved!”

This was most unexpected, Finch confused by the way they behaved.

So Finch pondered the project and what they could mean.

What is this project, to create such a scene?

He pondered and wondered until his cranium was sore.

Then Finch considered something he hadn’t considered before.

Perhaps a shared understanding isn’t on paper at all.

Perhaps collaboration and working together helped us answer the call.

And what happened then?  Well at Acme they say,

Finch finally saw the big picture that day.

He understood the impact of the project, without abstraction.

Increased revenue, market share, and customer satisfaction.

Without innovation and change, we will never evolve.

Acme wouldn’t keep up, we would surely dissolve.

By working together, co-creating a shared vision,

We all know what to do and can make a decision.

And the moment he understood the importance of change,

Mr. Finch didn’t feel quite so strange.

Finch quickly got up and with no delay,

Finch extended his hand, and thanked the BA.

 

Listen to the full episode here.

 

 

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